by Skellie
Photography: Fort Under Fire by sonnysaguil
If you want to gain some level of popularity and visibility for your site, one inevitable side-effect of that popularity will be nasty, mindless criticism.
In fact, I would suggest that the only thing that might save you from criticism is obscurity — and that is, of course, a big price to pay.
Many of us have been unconstructively criticized during our time publishing for the web. We may have been targeted by a personal attack, or perhaps our writing was called ‘rubbish’ (or something more impolite) without reason, or our body of work labeled worthless without explanation. In other cases, reasons are given, yet they are so out of step with rationality that they can hardly be believed.
In this post, I want to talk about criticism. I want to differentiate between the constructive and unconstructive kind, and suggest ways of dealing with the latter, because it may have happened to you in the past, and will undoubtedly happen again in future.
A bite-size distinction: constructive vs. unconstructive
Constructive: You shouldn’t have done that. You could have done this.
Unconstructive: You shouldn’t have done that.
Dealing with unconstructive criticism
Recognize its lack of value
If the author had any idea of what should have been done instead, they would have included that in the criticism. It would have added weight to their point of view and strengthened their argument.
Unconstructive criticism is the mark of someone who really doesn’t know how something could be (or something could be done) better. It serves only to make the criticizer feel powerful and the author feel hurt.
For that reason, the first step in managing unconstructive criticism is to realize that it is: 1) valueless and 2) very much intended to make you feel the way you do.
People worth listening to know how to make their criticism constructive. Unconstructive criticism is the mark of someone who is used to being ignored.
Understand the ‘mass viewing + unaccountability = idiocy’ equation.
Mass viewing: If you can imagine something, someone out there is thinking it. The more viewers your work has, the more likely you’ll be to encounter a completely unreasonable opinion.
Unaccountability: unless it is of a criminal nature, people are not accountable for what they say on the internet. What might have earned someone a real-life smack in the gob can, at best, earn them an angry email or comment (if they’re contactable at all!).
Idiocy: the web presents a unique situation, unseen in real-life, where masses of people are shown one thing and implicitly asked to form an (unaccountable) opinion via the presence of a comment or email form.
The key to understanding this equation is to know that you haven’t been singled out, and that you’re not the only person being criticized. It’s simply a matter of numbers. The more popular your content is, the more likely you are to encounter a fringe opinion — even if your post is about wood-carving, or some other equally uncontroversial topic.
Understand that logic will not work on an illogical person.
Our first reaction to criticism is often to compose a long and detailed response, disassembling each point or countering their view. After all, in terms of argument, logic beats irrationality every time.
Unfortunately, you can’t use logic on an irrational person, and anyone who’s given you unconstructive criticism is almost completely likely to be irrational. The process will be like trying to discipline a misbehaving pet by handing it a stern letter in writing.
Another misconception is that standing up for yourself will make you feel better. It doesn’t. Either your response will be ignored, or it will be met with more criticism you can either leave unanswered (and then you’re back at square one), or you can get involved in a tit-for-tat. Neither are desirable.
Understand that your readers will see the unconstructive criticism for what it is. You don’t need to disassemble it for their sake.
Your aim should be to diffuse the situation.
If the criticism is a personal attack or insult, delete it. There’s no reason it should be given a voice. You can point the criticizer to your comment policy (if you have one) if they complain of being censored.
If the criticism is targeted at your article, or your site, I’d recommend publishing it simply to avoid the possibility of the person harassing you more, accusing you of censoring any negative reactions to your work.
Your first priority should be to ensure that the criticizer isn’t made to bear a grudge against you. It’s already clear that they are irrational, and responding could make this worse. Ignoring them may also have a similar effect, causing them to try harder to raise your ire.
My suggestion would be to acknowledge the criticizer as you would any other commenter. Thank them for reading the article and leaving a comment, even if they disagreed with it. Don’t use smileys or be otherwise overly friendly, but don’t give your response a snarky tone either. A short, measured response says: “I’ve acknowledged your opinion, but it doesn’t change the way I feel.”
The strength of this response is that it gives the criticizer nowhere to go. Any further criticisms from them will seem impotent, as you don’t seem to care.
Since I’ve started using this method I’ve yet to receive follow-up criticism from the person. What’s more, it keeps the tone of the comment thread positive, which is a really valuable thing to maintain. It has taken me years of occasional tit-for-tats and frustrating arguments with irrational people to get to this point. Even in situations where I ‘won’ the argument, it was never worth the stress and effort.
Have you been criticized or insulted?
I’m interested to know how prevalent this issue is among bloggers, webmasters and web workers.
Have you received nasty criticisms? How did you respond? What worked? What didn’t work?
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28 Comments, Comment or Ping
peacenow
I just had a particularly pesky one who was bothering me under multiple names on more than one of my sites and attempting to recruit other people to help harass me. It took me a year to finally ban her from all my email addresses, IM accounts, comments, etc… just so I could have some peace.
I was snarky back to her original rude comments, so she spent the next year amusing herself by trying to make my life as miserable as she could. Screwing w/me became her one and only hobby.
Some people are just screwed up.
I’ll use your post as a reminder to try to let folks know their opinion has been noted and then move onto the next topic.
If they still don’t go away, ban the f**k out of them.
Sep 28th, 2007
George Beinhorn
Skellie, as always, an enjoyable and insightful post.
As it happens, I’ve just returned from reading the comments at Amazon about a wonderful but controversial book (Revelations of Christ, by Paramhansa Yogananda). The responses are completely polarized: the books gets 5 stars or 1, nothing in between.
That kind of polarized response very often means the author is saying something worth hearing. And it couldn’t serve the author better. H.L. Mencken never responded to his critics, of whom there was a rabid horde - it it never hurt his book sales.
Unfortunately, the Internet gives an equal voice to the mentally impaired, the congenitally negative, and those who try to make themselves appear taller by cutting off others’ heads. For them, there’s always the moderator’s delete button.
Sep 28th, 2007
Mohsin
When I first started my graphic design journey, and started creating wallpaper and other desktop related goodies such as icons and themes, I was greeted with ridicule. I knew my work wasn’t up to the par because I was a newbie, but I was hurt.
I didn’t reply to any of my criticizers personally but worked hard on improving my skills, just to prove it to myself. And after a year, I emerged as one of the top themers and my creations were featured on many of the top art sites.
Though, I don’t know whether my criticizers were there to see this, it gave me immense personal satisfaction and self-confidence.
It’s all about taking even the negative criticism positively. The criticizers don’t really care about you, they just come along, leave nasty comments, and probably don’t even look back while you appear all hurt and mortified.
I have yet to see that kind of discouraging criticism on my blog, but I am confident that I’ll be able to cope with it whenever it comes.
P.S. I have seen a good example of handling criticism the way you suggested on Smashing Magazine.
Sep 28th, 2007
Ankesh Kothari
I love criticism of my work. Does that make me weird?
The crazier the criticism, the better it is. Because you can gain clarity only if you know all the extremes. Its good to know the most crazy reaction your writing will get. (But don’t take the extreme criticisms to heart.)
Delete negative comments or personal attacks and insults? Never. They are very essential. They build sympathy for you. Readers that love you will rise and defend you. If no one defends you - you’re doing something wrong. If you don’t get angry and rude in return, it shows character. More people will love or hate you based on your reaction to an insult - then your writing.
Sep 28th, 2007
Herbjörn
The quote of today is:
“The process will be like trying to discipline a misbehaving pet by handing it a stern letter in writing.”
Cool!
Sep 28th, 2007
Keren Alderson
Hi Skellie,
I love your blog - found it quite recently. As a female web designer, I really really love seeing successful, obviously intelligent women in the industry, and especially australasian women (I’m a kiwi)!
One annoying aspect of criticism is tall poppy syndrome - you check out your critics’ work, and realise that they’re in no position to criticise as their own work is rubbish. It makes it seem as if only reason they’ve extended criticism is good old-fashioned jealousy. Or maybe they’re just jerks. Meh.
Sep 28th, 2007
skellie
@ Peacenow: Sounds like it must have been horrible — that’s exactly why I suggest diffusing the situation as quickly as possible. The kinds of people who launch into unconstructive criticism tend to be pretty unhinged!
@ George: I like your perspective. In some ways criticism can be a badge of honor — it means you are creating something worth forming an opinion about.
@ Mohsin: That’s a great way to repay nasty critics — by simply becoming great at what you do. I also like it because it rest in your own personal pride for what you do.
@ Ankesh: I never thought of it from the perspective of making readers rally around you — that’s a good point. One thing that would worry me is, if you allow commenters to personally attack you, it can then seem like a double-standard when you prevent commenters from attacking each other in a similar fashion. In some ways I would worry that it might set a tone for how people talk to each other one the blog.
@ Herbjörn:
@ Keren: Likewise! Great to meet you too :).
I really get what you mean about tall poppy syndrome. The two major pieces of criticism I’ve received on this site were, firstly, from someone attacking the usability of this site — their own site was a usability nightmare — and secondly, from someone criticizing the blog as a whole, whose own blog was a complete nightmare. It was interesting that both criticizers fell very short in the areas they were criticizing me — and perhaps that’s what instigated the criticism?
Sep 28th, 2007
Ken Dahlin
The comments I receive usually range between the of constructive and unconstructive and nothing in between. I moderate my comments and if the commenter says something like “It sucks” or “you did a really bad job”, I won’t approve it. But if someone tells me that “line 16 of your CSS is not validating”, or “your programming style is not considered good practice, read this link…” I will approve it because I’m not too proud to think I can’t learn something.
Sep 29th, 2007
joseph hollak
Somewhat ironic that artists or creative types are typically the largest cross-section of individuals in society that open themselves up to and expose their soul for criticism every time they put out a new piece of creativity.
And yet, we can be the most fragile and easiest group to crush with an unsolicited and disposable criticism.
Joseph Hollak
Sep 29th, 2007
Morten
As the eternal optimist I am, I figured - in a post about criticism - I’d elaborate on praise:
Constructive praise: Your elegant layout is a delight, but I think a slightly larger font-size could make your even lovelier content a tad more readable.
Unconstructive praise: Great post.
The first kind of praise is obviously useable, thus of value, but I think both are important as they encourage and motivates the author - which is the least we readers can do.
Sep 29th, 2007
Tad Chef
Skellie, you are very pollite! I differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism. The second one’s aim is not to correct an error but to attack you personally.
I’ve been attacked and criticised destructively over and over in my 10 years of online publishing.
The ugliest attacks happen in political forums or if you are working as a SEO. As I do SEO for three years now I am astonished at how dumb and prejudiced those attacks are, even by established bloggers, mostly in Germany though.
Sep 29th, 2007
kher Cheng Guan
I read Leo Babauta’s ” How To Accept Criticism With Grace And Appreciation” the other day and now your piece on the similar topic. Both are insightful and enlightening. Since, I’m writing a satirical blog, I’m prepared to be criticized. Most of my readers love my satires, spoofs and parodies.Except, for the other day, someone said that my blog reeks with bitterness! Frankly, what I do is merely taking pot shots and not slandering anyone.
Sometime ago Lorelle VanFossen asked “Are You Becoming A Little Over-Sensitive Over Comments” in Blog Herald. I find most established bloggers are rather sensitive. Each time if someone questions or raises a different point of view, they are sure to retaliate like some crazed fools. Probably they assumed they are the “experts” of their domain, and they feel being “challenged”.
Sep 30th, 2007
Kate
Hi Skellie, first of all can I echo everything Keren said. I’m a woman blogger and it is great to see another woman doing so well in this field.
Back on topic - I have received criticism, mostly when I have written politically themed posts, but that is to be expected and I do leave those comments inplace and repsond to them. The criticism is never personal, it’s an argument against my ideas.
On other hand, a while ago I received a visit on my personal blog from a rather strange woman who left a comment that wasn’t just insulting, it was downright deranged and also quite offensive - not to me, but to various ethnic groups. (The mental image I had of her was of some Python-esque character manically typing and ranting)
This same woman had also bothered another blogger I know, who had made the mistake of trying reason with her - it soon became apparent she wasn’t open to reason because her comments became more numerous and bizarre. So, when she turned up at my blog, I immediately deleted her comment because of the it’s content, and she never came back. I hadn’t expected that at all, I really thought I was going to be plagued by her for some time. I’m guessing she was only trying to get a reaction and when she didn’t she went on her way - probably muttering darkly.
Sep 30th, 2007
Annie
I was writing novels and workshopping them for feedback before I ever got into the world of blogging, so I guess I’m used to receiving criticism. One way to deal with it is to try and distance yourself a bit from what you’ve written. Just because you wrote it doesn’t mean your whole identify is tied up in whether it’s well received, ya know?
Also, if you know your field well enough, you become confident enough in your work that you can brush off the naysayers or at least recognize who might have something valuable to offer and who just has a bone to pick.
I’ve been lucky with my podcast so far (even though I know what I’m talking about I’m a podcasting newbie, so I’ve been expecting lots of criticism), and folks have been supportive. You just have to remember all the good comments you’ve received, which hopefully outnumber the bad ones!
~Annie
Oct 1st, 2007
Lawrence
As a new Blogger on the block I am grateful to you, Skellie, for writing this article. On my current blog I have yet to have any “nasty” comments but a couple of years ago when I started a fiction blog I got quite a few insulting comments. So much so that I retreated back into my shell.
I must say, I am still a little reticent about writing on the Internet - but my confidence is growing.
All the best, Lawrence
Oct 1st, 2007
glblguy
My experience has shown that when this occurs, by loyal readers generally defend me. I will of course chime in, and as always thank the reader for their thoughts and perspective and just leave it at that. My readers will generally let the critical person have it
Oct 2nd, 2007
Pinyo
First, thanks Glblguy for pointing out this post to me.
I recently ran into a couple of these criticisms when I wrote a guest post for a fairly popular blog (#1 in my niche, I think). And a few days later, I one of my post was Stumbled.
I wish I had read your post sooner, because you gave really sound analysis of the situation and great advice to boot.
Oct 2nd, 2007
peterahon
am really a late bloomer or experiencer well only now is my blog getting read anyway… so thanks for this post and I linked this in my blog with this entry:
I don’t expect all people or bloggers for that matter to be nice but at least be more rational, sensible and diplomatic with their comments. Let’s argue about my points or opinions. Rebut and debate, oppose and disagree, for me these are fine and acceptable.
http://peterahon.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-hazard-dealing-with-nasty-blog.html
good wishes,
pete
Jul 13th, 2008
Andy Martin
Eternally wise words by Arthur Schoepenhauer:
No-one ever erected a statue in honour of a critic.
Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Will minus intellect constitutes vulgarity.
Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another.
Intellect is invisible to the man who has none.
Everyone takes the limits of his own vision for the limits of the world.
The greatest achievements of the human mind are generally received with distrust.
The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
Console yourself by remembering that the world doesn’t deserve your affection.
Jul 22nd, 2008
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